There are many influences on my view of masculinity and admittedly some of these qualities are not limited to just men (i.e. humility, etc.). Some of it is Biblical. Some cultural. And of course, my view has been influenced by different people around me.
So just some random thoughts in no particular order:
- Be Man Enough to Take Blame
In the Garden of Eden, after God starts questioning Adam why he ate of the forbidden fruit Adam replied, “It ain’t me you should be blaming. If anyone should be blamed it should be you! You’re the one who gave me the woman who gave me the fruit. And you can also blame her while you’re at it.” Something changed in Adam after taking the fruit. He was so concerned about saving his own skin he didn’t want to take responsibility for his charge to protect and look out for his wife. Nor did he own up the responsibility and accept the blame.
Don’t be this kind of weak-sauce guy. If you’ve messed up just own up to it. If your team messes up (even if it’s not totally on you) own up to it also. You’re going to make mistakes. If you keep thinking “victim mentality” you’re not going to go places. Being the man means both saying and believing, “My bad. I’m gonna do better next time.”
- Be Man Enough to Take Risks
There are so many stories of bravery in the Bible. A real man believes in God’s promises and march out boldly. God promised the Promised Land to the Israelites, but because of a report of giants, the Israelites got scared and backed off. There were a couple who were man enough amongst the 12 who scouted out the land, but the vast majority were coward.
Now, everyone is a coward to some extent, alright? But when God says, “I got your back” and you still ain’t going, well, then you got a problem.
Let’s take the example of Moses. God said, “I want you to go to Egypt and tell Pharaoh that he needs to let my people go.” Moses came up with a reason, a pretty good one, why God had the wrong guy. He said, “I’m not a speaking type. You got the wrong dude.” So God said, “Well, take Aaron with you. You’all gonna fine cuz ‘I got your back’.” Now Moses could have made still more excuses, but he got himself straightened out and went to Egypt.
There are situations where you might fail or humiliate yourself. Maybe it’s trying to share the gospel with someone. That person might spit at you. Or maybe it’s trying to make a co-worker feel welcomed even though everyone else is staying away because she supports Trump. And if you reached out others might shun you, too. Anyway, there are lots of situations.
Question is “You gonna take some risks or you gonna play it safe and just play video games all day?”
And of course, if you’re all in on God, there is always the possibility of the ultimate risk. The apostles preached the gospel with reckless abandon. They were tortured, bullied, a made a spectacle in their deaths (supposedly most were killed). If you think the gospel is worth it, you’ll risk it all for it.
- Be Man Enough to Protect Others
You’re gonna be pretty unpopular if you say things or do things that society doesn’t like. For instance, a lot of people think that abortion is OK. Now you have a choice. You can agree with them. In which case, they’ll keep inviting you to their parties and everything is cool or you can say “Murdering babies is not OK.”
There are weak and vulnerable people all around us. God wants us to protect others, in this case, the most vulnerable of all, babies.
Don’t be a beta male and take on the view of society. Say and do things to protect people. Aside from baby killing, there are women and kids who are abused/sex trafficked and need protection. (I’m not suggesting that a man do counseling with a woman as that can get rather messy). There are ways to support the vulnerable including raising funds, job training, mentoring kids, etc.
God created men to be physically stronger than women and that was meant for him to be the protector. So use your strength appropriately.
- Be Man Enough to Provide
This man is responsible take care of his wife and kids. Now, if this person is single and doesn’t have a wife and kids he’s still thinking ahead and setting himself up to be in the best position possible and/or taking care of other people who might be in need.
You don’t want to be the kind of guy who blows all his money at the casino every week. You want to be responsible.
- Be Man Enough to Stay True to Your Principles
If this man struggles with sexual purity he shouldn’t be putting himself in situations where he is more likely to be compromised. For the single guy, it would mean not being behind closed doors with his girlfriend. And for the married guy, he shouldn’t be spending one-on-one, private, unsupervised time with another woman.
Billy Graham had a rule. Sticking to this rule kept him out of sexual immorality.
2-time US Vice President Mike Pence had a similar rule.
So here are a few random thoughts on what it means to be a real man. I hope it encourages you.