(How to Assess the Character of a Man)
If men were honest they would not be getting married if there was no benefit of sex in the mix. Sure, there are other reasons men get married. This includes companionship, having kids (some men really like kids like me!), or avoiding conversations with your Chinese mom who’s always wondering why you aren’t married yet. But I would say a whopping 99% of men marry in order to have sex as the primary motivation. Of course, men would not admit this because it makes you look sex-crazy and that’s not the image you want to portray.
This just goes to say that it’s important to be self-aware of how powerful the sex drive is. Sometimes it can drive your decision making process in ways that are not beneficial for you (i.e. porn, strip clubs, prostitutes). The sex drive is not necessarily bad in itself. It’s how God has designed the procreation of the human race.
Think about how influential the sex drive it and how it can pretty much control your choices. You meet a girl you like, which is another way to say that you are sexually attracted to her. Well, you try to persuade her to consider you a potential mate. So what do you do? You get haircuts even when you don’t really need one so you can look your best. You buy some nice clothes. You keep your car clean-looking. You text her to see if she got home OK that night. You remember her birthday. You buy her thoughtful gifts. You try to get her friends to be on your side and think that you’re great for her so you’re nice to her friends. You’re nice to her family. You do all these things with the hopes that she would marry you one day so you can have sex. I know all this sounds a bit crass, but this is 100% true.
If you don’t believe me, take the example of a plain-looking girl. Do guys give her attention? Remember her birthday? Offer to do errands for her? Of course not. And why not? Well, it’s because they are not interested in having sex with her.
So I bring all this up because as believers there is a place and time to serve people even if there’s no pay out. The plain-looking girl doesn’t really have anything to offer you that you want. But you know what? She is no less made in the image of God than pretty ones. She is no less a daughter of the Most High God than the pretty ones. So she is worthy of your service nevertheless. So when you’re pursuing the pretty girl, don’t forget about the plain-looking ones, too.
This would be similar to the situation in James 2:
For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
You see, you treat the rich guy better because you’re hoping for some kind of reciprocity. Maybe he might give you a large donation or introduce you to someone powerful or influential or give you a job. Poor people aren’t going to have much to offer you. But God does not want this kind of favoritism amongst his people.
A final word to the ladies, you can know a lot about the character of man by how he serves or doesn’t serve the plain-looking girls. Just keep an eye out.