In the Bible, there was a king named David. God really liked him. God even called him “a man after my own heart.” That’s serious praise there. Nobody else was described that way in the Bible.
When David was a boy he was angry that he was with a bunch of cowards who allowed the Philistines to talk smart about Israel and the God of Israel. The strongest warrior of the Philistines was a giant named Goliath. Everyone was scared of him because he was big and strong. Well, everyone except little David. So David slingshotted Goliath in the head and killed him. Now, that’s courage.
Well, fast forward many years, David is not with his troops fighting God’s battles like he’s supposed to. Instead he’s hanging out in his comfortable place and sees a beautiful woman bathing. Instead of turning his eyes and repenting, he orders someone to get her for him so he could sleep with her, even though she was someone else’s wife. And this was the beginning of David’s fall. He was never, ever the same man he once was.
Sexual sin is the #1 problem that prevents men from becoming champions for God. A few years I went to a sexual purity conference hosted by Josh McDowell, an apologist, no, not someone who apologizes a lot, but rather someone who defends the Bible to skeptics. There were about 1000 pastors/church leaders (90% men) and the question was asked, “Raise your hand if you’ve ever exposed yourself to porn.” And I want to give credit for the audience’s honesty. I would say about 95% of hands went up. I don’t think anyone would argue that this is a serious problem, not only in the church, but in society at large. And this is just one form of sexual sin.
So I want to say that a real man will take the fight to sexual sin. Meaning he will guard his heart as best as he can to not put himself in a vulnerable situation.
I have a friend who’s brother is a well-respected pastor in a local area (I won’t mention where) and I met him and him family at his home for a meal. His wife was kind and friendly. His three kids were pretty cool. They seem to have everything together. Shortly after that, he started counseling a woman from his church and they started having an affair. His wife caught wind of it and ended their marriage. The kids were emotionally distraught. The pastor was forced to resign. To this day, it’s unclear if he’s still with the woman he had an affair with. In terms of his social circle, he’s pretty much disconnected from everybody. Sad.
Not everything is a loss, of course, as God gives second chances. Repentance will restore your relationship with God. And over time, others may trust you again BUT wouldn’t it be better to avoid getting yourself into a jam in the first place?
Well, you can. It’s been done before so you wouldn’t be the first. Here are some cool verses to memorize or at the very least put them on your phone so when it pops up you can be reminded to be vigilant.
Ephesians 5:3:
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.
Job 31:1:
I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman.
Hebrews 13:4:
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexual immoral.
Ideally, you don’t put yourself in a situation where temptation is high. So, if there’s a strip club near your house, maybe you should not drive that way to get to your house. Find an alternate route. Or don’t be behind closed doors with your girlfriend.
There are also other resources that can be helpful that I’ve personally benefitted from. I can vouch for them because I actually went to these events myself.
https://wildatheart.org/events/wild-at-heart-boot-camp
So don’t let your guard down. When you see something sexually stimulating (i.e. online or a movie) or let’s say you’re at a beach where women are showing a lot of skin, turn your eyes away and walk away. In fact, maybe you shouldn’t go to a beach anymore or if you do, go when it’s dark, when women are not sunbathing. Just take every step to guard your heart. Your wife or your future wife will thank you.