If you meet a girl who you think might be a good fit for you, you need to take the risk and explore that possibility. A “good fit” kinda girl does not show up every day in your life. It might be years before another possible “good fit” kinda girl comes by again or it may never.
Now you can come up with all kinds of excuses like “But she lives in a different country” or “But I’m not done with school yet” or “I don’t have a house yet” or whatever. Well, you snooze you lose. Keep in mind that sometimes opportunities only come once in a lifetime.
As a guy, it really sucks to be rejected by the opposite sex. It’s a pain and disappointment that runs deep in the psyche. Most guys would rather get a basketball thrown at their face. But God has given men the responsibility of initiating. And initiating requires risk-taking.
I remember a time in college when I was rejected (albeit very nicely) by a girl I liked. She was a nursing student. She had an amazing heart for the Lord and kept God’s truth close to her all the time. She was always trying to encourage other people. And she accomplished all this despite being from a highly dysfunctional household having a mother with severe mental illness. I spiraled into a mild depression and lost my appetite. It was my first opposite sex rejection and it hurt. It stung. It made me question myself. Every future rejection after that was easy compared to that one. I guess the first of anything painful is usually the worst.
I remember another girl, who was also very committed in her walk with the Lord. We had great conversations. I had a DTR (Define the relationship) with her and she wouldn’t answer “yes” or “no” for months. It was during this process that I found out that she had enmeshment problems with mother. She was highly emotionally attached to her mom. Even though she was an adult she couldn’t separate herself from her mom. It was as if she and her mom were the same person. So long story short, her mom saw me one time and wrote me off right away. Her mom was from a very affluent and status-oriented political family. She wanted her daughter to marry into a similar class as her. And that was painful, too.
I share these stories to encourage you, men, to take the risk. If you’re spending all your time playing video games, you need to start growing up. I’m talking to men who put God first and are just a bit hesitant when it comes to relating to the opposite sex. Risk is a beautiful thing. It sends the message to the girl “You are worth risking getting my heart broken over.” So the next time you cross paths with someone who might be a good fit for you. Don’t pass it up. It’s better for God to judge the girl for rejecting you than for you not to try. Remember, don’t live in the world of “What if”. If she’s worth it, she’s worth the risk. Even if she says “no” when you come out of your heartbrokenness you’ll still be a bigger man than if you didn’t try.